Anthony Bourdain was a fancy-pants New York City chef back at one point before he sold his soul to the Travel Channel. What he’s apparently interested in being remembered for most though is his love of foie gras, his one man crusade to eat every pig on earth, and most especially, his sage wisdom regarding vegetarianism:

Take for example this little nugget:

“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.”
- Anthony Bourdain, “Kitchen Confidential,” p. 70

This coming from a man who’s “pure enjoyment of food” entails gulping down a still-beating cobra heart cut fresh from the snakes living body. Hmmm. Did he do that because he’s got such a “decent human spirit” or did he do it because eating gross food is good for his ratings? Oh wait, let me guess… he must have needed the protein.

Some clever folks out there are responding to Anthony Bourdain’s ignorant remarks and incessant badgering of vegetarians by turning the tables on him and creating something positive in the process.

The new Hezbollah Tofu blog has just appeared on the scene and they’ve hatched an ingenious plan to transform all the recipes in Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles cookbook and turn them into vegan recipes. So great! Here’s an excerpt from their message to Bourdain:

…Anthony, you’re kind of tragically wrong about us. But don’t worry, we’re not going to do something silly like picket the Travel Channel or go around bookstores drawing giant penises on your book covers with Sharpies. We have two key advantages over you in this game: we’re easily mobilized, and we can cook.

So we aren’t just going to “enjoy” food, we’re going to enjoy vastly improved, veganized versions of your masturbatory, blood-oozing recipes. And then we’re going to compile them, sell them in zine form, and donate the proceeds to vegan outreach organizations and farm sanctuaries–in your name. Anthony, I have to say, I’m really looking forward to the great work we’re going to do together for veganism.

This is an open call to vegan cooks of all stripes: professional chefs and bakers, cookbook authors, food bloggers, amateur cooks, and–perhaps most importantly–ordinary, everyday people who just want to live their lives and eat their dinners without unnecessary heckling from the heroin-addled peanut gallery.

Brilliant, I say. Visit these guys and join the resistance at: www.hezbollahtofu.blogspot.com - No reservations required.

Similiarly inspired, Bryanna and her friends over at The Vegan Feast Kitchen held a vegan “splinter faction” pizza party (again in response to the ridiculous comment made about vegans being the “splinter faction” of vegetarians). Very cute… and if bashing Bourdain’s bashing of vegans isn’t a good enough reason for throwing a vegan pizza party, well then the terrorists have already won.

1. Anthony Bourdain, Vegans and Man-on-Man Love.
2. Kewl! My first hostile comment!
3. I like big buns and I cannot lie.
4. New and Upcoming Vegan Cookbooks
5. “Vegan Parents Guilty Of Starving Son”