Did you ever see The Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld? On the show, Jerry and the gang frequent a soup kitchen that serves delicious soup run by an extremely controlling chef who has very specific rules about how the soup must be ordered. He’s basically a real prick and if he gets mad at a customer or just doesn’t like someone for any reason, he’ll refuse to serve them and shout out the now famous catchphrase, “No soup for you!”. This guy is known as The Soup Nazi.
Well, I recently had an experience that was so ridiculous that it reminded me of this Soup Nazi incident. Usually I avoid writing bad reviews because for the most part it’s a lot more fun writing about things I actually enjoyed, and I also would rather offer you, my dear readers, good recommendations rather than focus on where you shouldn’t go. This however… this was unlike anything I’ve had happen to me before and if I don’t share it with you, I will explode.
I’d been hearing wonderful things about The Hummus Bar & Grill in Tarzana from many sources. Most all of the reviews on Yelp and Chowhound are ravingly positive and hardly anyone’s got anything negative to say about the place… well, allow me to be the first. Hummus Bar & Grill is an Israeli restaurant known for their excellent hummus as well their skewered meats and many varieties of Israeli salads. Not being an eater of meat on sticks, I was drawn to this place after learning that they have a special where you can order a sampler of all their tasty salads (10 to 12 different varieties) for the all-you-can-eat price of $10. Being both an Israeli and a lover of salads, this seemed like something that would be right up my alley. I convinced my mother that it had been long enough since she’d treated me to lunch, and off we went.
As soon as we sat down, the Hebrew speaking Israeli waitress immediately brought us some small plates of pickles, tahini with chickpeas and skhug (a spicy salsa-like Yemenite dip) along with an enormous round of laffa bread, which is similar to a cross between naan and pita bread. So far so good, everything was delicious.
It comes time to order. My mom wants the chicken skewers, I want what I went there for- the salad sampler which is listed on the menu for $10. I ask the waitress if all of the salads are vegan but she has no idea what the word means and just stares at me with a blank look on her face. Now, I fully understand and accept that not everyone knows what vegan means, but the empty, slackjawed look she gave me was so blank that I was beginning to worry that she’d soon start drooling onto my arm. So then I tell her in Hebrew that I’m a vegetarian who doesn’t eat animals or anything made with eggs or dairy products… are the salads suitable for me to eat? Oh yes, she tells me, and I assume that at this point she understood what I was asking her considering the large amount of Israelis who are kosher and share similar concerns about dairy in their food, so I say ok, that’s what I’ll have. This is the part where it starts to get really entertaining.
The waitress then proceeds to tell me in Hebrew that if I want to order the salad sampler it will have to be an order for two since there are two of us dining together. Mind you, my mother has already placed her own order for chicken, she’s not here for salad. I tell her this and she says, yes, but since there’s two of you, you have to order the salads for two people regardless of what the other person has ordered. I’m feeling really confused at this point so to make sure I understand, I ask her (in Hebrew, because this was clearly the language she spoke and understood better) if she’s telling me that even though I am the only one who wants salad, that we both have to order it, at double the price of what one person would normally have to pay? She replies simply, yes. At this point I’m starting to get upset and my mom picks up on this and attempts to step in and talk to the waitress, knowing what my temper is like once I get going. She basically repeats my questions back to the waitress, who in turn repeats back exactly what she just told me… that since there’s two of us, we both have to get the salads. I am dumbfounded.
Then I ask: so if I came in by myself and ordered the salad sampler, you would give it to me for $10, but because there’s two of us here, even though only one of us wants salad, the other has to order it as well, for $20? Yes, she tells me, then silence and that same “I don’t give a shit” stare. I tell her that this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard and that I want to speak to the manager. She tells me there’s no manager on hand but that this is always the policy. I tell her that the policy makes no sense and I cannot understand where she gets off telling me that we have to order double of something because only one person wants to eat it. At this point she switches over to English and says to me, and I quote: “Well you know, it’s because of the Israeli mentality. Even if just you order the salad, she’s going to eat it from it too, so we do it this way because we know you’re going to share anyway”. Then she gives a little chuckle, like it’s all just really funny and no big deal.
Wait a minute… did she really just say what I think she said? Oh yes, she really did. Allow me to translate this for you: what she just told me was that because of our “Israeli mentality” they already know that we’ll cheat and steal, so we cannot be trusted with only one salad order. In other words, even though my mother and I are both telling her that only one of us wants the fucking salad to begin with, they’re on to us (because we’re Israeli, see?) and there’s no way they’ll trust us with only one all-you-can-eat salad at a table with two people. The best part is that she said all this with a smile, like from one friend to another, after all, it’s just one Israeli putting down another, no harm done, right?
Now, I’m not some politcally correct type who gets offended at every little thing, but this was really beyond belief. Who the hell says something like that? She’s not my friend who is entitled to joke around with me on potentially touchy subjects, she’s a waitress whose job it is to take my order and serve me what I want to eat, not lecture me on the deceitful and guileless ways of the Israelites. In case you’re still not comprehending why I was so offended, imagine if you will for second that we had all been black and instead of this comment being about Israelis being thieving food stealers, the same comment was made about blacks, or Mexicans, or anyone. It was so beyond inappropriate and so rude that at that point all I could do was sit there somewhat in shock, speechless. And I wanted to leave.
Unfortunately we’d already eaten most of the bread and pickles, as well as had been sipping on our drinks, so either way we’d have to finish up and pay. My mom being the sweetheart that she is tried to calm things down and said that we should just go ahead and get the two salads, she could always take the leftovers home for my dad. I did not want to agree to this on principle, but at the same time I could feel all eyes in the place on us because I’d started to raise my voice (I couldn’t help it) and I really didn’t want to embarrass my poor mom any further despite how absolutely pissed off I was. It gets even better though because then the waitress tells us that because it’s an all-you-can-eat type deal there’s no taking leftovers home. All I could do was laugh at this point… the whole thing was beyond absurd. Ok, so despite all of that we agree to order two salad samplers for $20 even though only one of us will be eating them and even though the price on the menu clearly states that it’s only $10. We totally just got played for suckers.
Realizing who I’m dealing with though, I figure I better ask more questions before agreeing to this highway robbery. I ask the waitress what salads they are going to serve… mind you that just a few minutes ago we had the whole vegetarian/vegan/non-dairy conversation. So Miss Smartypants starts to list them for me: egg salad, chopped liver salad, eggplant salad with mayonnaise… ok, it’s all starting to make sense to me now… she’s clearly retarded. I stop her and tell her that liver is not vegetarian and that eggs and mayonnaise are not vegan, and so therefore I cannot eat any of them, even though just moments ago she told me the salads wouldn’t contain any of these things. Again, all I get is a blank stare. I swear that I could actually hear the wind blowing between her ears.
I’d previously studied the menu so in an attempt to calm myself down instead of getting even more upset and causing a bigger scene, I tell her to forget the damn salads and that I’ll have the grilled portabella mushrooms instead. All this after nearly 15 minutes of back & forth over the rip-off salads, most of which it turns out I can’t even eat.
Finally, after more than half an hour of this circus, our food was served. What I hate most is that given all of this, I’d love to tell you that the food was awful, but I cannot tell a lie. My mother loved her grody chicken and in the spirit of full disclosure I must admit that the mushrooms were delicious.
The mushrooms were marinated in herbs & garlic and then grilled, served with a tasty green salad. Hey look, a salad… better watch out or my mom might try to steal some off my plate when the watchful staff isn’t looking! In all seriousness though, the mushrooms were very tasty, although also way too oily. I had to first soak up some of the oil with my napkin before I could eat them, but they were honestly very good. That said, the price for my plate of two tiny mushrooms (more like baby bellas than actual full sized portabella mushrooms) was $11.99. Due to the angle at which I took the photo above, these actually look much bigger than they really were. As good as I thought they tasted, I felt that for what they served the price was way too high, this was at best an $8 plate of food.
And that’s basically the jist of it. The waitress was unapologetic and I’m quite sure that she was totally clueless about just how totally offensive her comments were and had no idea why I got so mad. Despite the fact that at one point I was practically seething in my seat and about to go all green Hulk on her, she was oblivious to how upset I was and to just how rude it was to say something like that about anyones nationality, regardless of whether she’s from the same country or not. You just don’t do that, not in a restaurant where people are coming to give you their money in order to be fed, not insulted.
We really should have left before ordering the food but in retrospect the whole situation was just so preposterous that we were caught off guard… and hungry. The full absurdity of what happened didn’t sink in for me until much later. What I can promise you though is that they will never again have to worry about me or any other of my tribe of cheating, food thieving Heeb relatives absconding with any unpaid for food at their restaurant ever again (I’ve strictly forbidden my mother from ever returning). I’m perfectly happy taking my sneaky Israeli mentality elsewhere and supporting businesses that don’t treat their customers like they are worthless and then try to get away with doubling the price. There certainly is no shortage of delicious Israeli restaurants in Los Angeles.
This is normally the part where I’d link to the restaurants website, but they don’t have a website, and even if they did I wouldn’t link to them because they do not deserve the free publicity that a link from my site would bring them. If you’re that curious, Google ‘em. The place is very popular and supposedly quite the hangout for the young & hip Valley Israelis (who obviously forgot to send me the memo), and to hear all the meat lovers go on and on about this place, you’d think their food rained down straight from heaven. True, the food was good… but nothing extraordinary judging by what they allowed me to eat (I never actually got to taste the hummus), and certainly not worth the rudeness and frustration of dealing with an utterly clueless waitress who insists on charging you double. Who knows, maybe if you’re an American they’ll treat you differently and actually let you order what you want, because… you know, the American mentality and all. It makes me wonder if I had I told her that I’m actually only half-Israeli, if she would have let me have half-off on the 2nd unwanted salad order that she was attempting to ream me with.
Thank you for listening, rant over.
P.S. – A disclaimer before anyone starts giving me grief over the Soup Nazi thing:
I am not calling the waitress a Nazi, I am not calling the restaurant or it’s owners Nazis, I am not calling Israelis or Jews Nazis. I used the term Hummus Nazi solely in reference to the very funny Seinfeld episode involving a crazy and controlling restaurant chef who treated his customers with the same amount of disdain that this waitress treated me. The Soup Nazi wouldn’t let them have soup, she wouldn’t let me have hummus or salad… get it? It’s funny, ha ha! You either get the association and laugh at the irony of it all, or you’ve never seen Seinfeld and therefore have no idea what I’m talking about. Either way, please don’t fill up my comments with outrage over my using the words Nazi and Israeli on the same page (they will be deleted), it’s a joke and nothing more… and yes I already know that the Holocaust is nothing to laugh at. This has nothing to do with any of that and it’s not in the least bit offensive if you get the reference. If you don’t, I highly recommend renting that episode of Seinfeld (#116) because it’s one of the funniest things to have ever been aired on television.
good grief, i don’t know how you kept from throttling her. seriously, if you’re that paranoid about someone sharing an all you can eat plate, maybe you shouldn’t offer all you can eat instead of automatically treating your customers (maybe even only some of your customers) like criminals.
Yikes. Some people just have the perfect attitude to run the front of house.
That was an unpleasant experience. At least the mushrooms made up for it?
Love the soup nazi eppie. They really do exists!
Wow. Just…wow.
It’s unbelievable how the waitress treated you! Halfway through your post, I was getting so frustrated and angry at the way you were treated. I kept saying, just get up and walk out, leave $5 or $10 on the table to (more than) cover the cost of the bread and pickles and go eat somewhere else.
Customer service in the US really seems to be on the decline. Growing up in NY, you were treated badly in stores, and everyone just accepted it. When I moved to LA, I was SO much happier by the way I’d get treated in service situations. That seems to have been declining.
ugh! i have never heard of this place, but judging by the name alone, i’d probably have wanted to eat there. i’m glad i read this and can definitely say they will NEVER get my business!
how dare they treat customers like thieves?? based on ETHNICITY? unacceptable! grrrr.
Ugh!
I hate it when stuff like this happens…
First, write a review on YELP and link to this full posting since Yelp has a character limit (http://www.yelp.com/biz/hummus-bar-and-grill-tarzana).
Second, unless the salad is bottomless or from a salad bar — it should not matter who is eating it. You order one salad sampler for the table — a portion for 1 person or a portion for 2 people should be your choice unless it is something that has a minimum (like, for example – paella, or a prix fixe special where everyone at the table has to order it).
Third, I would have thrown down five bucks and walked out. What a c&*t. Write a letter to the manager and get her fired. Clearly, she’s not meant to work with the public and you’d be doing a lot of people the favor of having her fired. Ugh.
unbelievable!!! my friends and I sometimes call the employees at India Sweets and Spices the Curry Nazis for their unfriendly service but its never been anywhere nearly bad as this experience you had. how awful!
Oh, how I wish I could have seen you in action that day! You handled yourself perfectly and you’re absolutely right that the treatment you received that day is deplorable. And I totally get the Seinfeld reference! How sad that you needed the disclaimer at the end of your post.
I’ve gone there twice with the vegan BF, and while service isn’t fantastic, we were never treated the way you were. I would definitely not go back again if I were you!
The first time we went, we chose to sit outside. The BF got some humus and salad, I got some sort of sweetbread entree and salad. I think if you order the entree, you can get the salad for $5.99 extra. We still had to order 2 “servings” of the salad assortment, but it was ameliorated by the slight discount I got from ordering an entree. The entree was pretty mediocre, so I decided to just stick to salad next time. The waitress was pretty slow despite it not being that busy and did the “I can’t see you” thing a couple of times when we needed more bread.
The second time we went, we sat at the bar and got better service from the guys working behind the bar. They were attentive and we got bread promptly even though it was pretty hectic back there. We both ordered the salad assortment as well as some hummus and falafel, but one guy behind the bar asked if we wanted some sort of meat entree and when I said no, he made a weird face. I’m not falling for that trap again!
I agree that having to pay for two people who getting the salad assortment is ridiculous!
Absolutely unbelievable the way you were treated. It completely shocks me sometimes how disrespectful and untrusting some restaurant personnel are. One pet peeve of mine is being charged extra to share a dish. One place I dined at recently wanted an extra $4 “split charge”. WTF?
I’ve eaten there before, and have had relatively positive experiences (though clearly I need to do better checking about the ingredients, w/r/t the mayo thing — that definitely explains why my stomach had problems after I visited). I usually split the assortment of salads with my (non-vegan) gf, and let her eat all the non-veg stuff. I think the restaurant offers a vegetarian assortment of salads too.
I don’t think most people consider eggs to be “dairy”, either from a kosher standpoint (eggs are parve, no?) or from a technical standpoint, and mayonnaise definitely can be made without dairy, so (while I don’t think Hummus Bar and Grill is kosher), I wouldn’t say that a dish containing mayo is automatically non-kosher (though it’s of course non-vegan).
Did you try the hummus at least? I think it’s pretty good. Also, I don’t usually go to a restaurant like this expecting good (or even friendly) service… it’s a loud, busy, restaurant with all you can eat food, and the staff always seem pretty busy. I’ve always found the staff helpful enough when I’ve gone, though.
re: India Sweets and Spices, not sure which one you’re talking about, but give me a freaking break! You expect helpful and friendly service from an ethnic takeout / counter service restaurant with super cheap prices? That’s ridiculous. If you go to a hole in the wall place, you’re going for the food, not for the ambiance or service. Now with the prices at Hummus Bar and Grill, I can understand the expectation of at least adequate service….
It seems pretty standard to me to assume that if there’s an all you can eat option, that a restaurant isn’t going to let one person at the table order it and not the other. Whether her comments were polite or not, the policy makes sense to me.
wow. i have to admit, this entry made me laugh. because of your awesome commentary on this dumb girl, and because it’s just so ridiculous the only thing left to do it laugh.
i live about 2 blocks from this place. will NOT be attending.
I agree with Laura; they shouldn’t even have an all-you-can-eat option on the menu if they are also going to assume that people are going to “steal” from them.
Try Sofra – used to be in the Westside Pavillion and now in the Palms area – great Turkish Salads.
10821 Venice Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90034
Thank you. I’ve been meaning to do a Food Nazi Food Marathon but haven’t had enough restaurants (Nozawa, Stuffed Sandwich, ???).
I absolutely cannot believe that this happened to you! It does make for a good story, but still, no paying customer should ever be treated this way! I also would have been so pissed if I had to pay 12 bucks for 2 small mushrooms and a salad…no matter how good they were.
Yikes, what a nightmare.
While tragic, this was probably the most hilarious rant ive read all week. thanks for making me laugh.!
Wow, thanks for the overwhelming support on this guys! It was tough decision whether to post a bad review like this or not and I was somewhat concerned that I’d wake up in the morning to some anonymous death threats… glad to see that’s not the case :)
I agree with everyone who’s saying we should have just left. That would have been the smartest thing to do, but like I said in the post, we were really caught off guard by the whole situation… and both my mom and I were starving and dealing with migraine headaches at the time… we just wanted to get some food in our bellies!
Vegyogini: Regarding my decision to put up the disclaimer, you’d be amazed how some people will take things totally out of context and freak out. I learned this the hard way when I joked about Anthony Bourdains male fans being secretly in love with him… I was accused of being a homophobe and of putting down gays. I implied no such thing, but than had to waste a bunch of time explaining my comments and arguing with someone who wanted to nitpick my every word. Some people just don’t understand irony or humor, so I figured this time around I’d add a little disclaimer before anyone got their panties all in a bunch.
Louise: Yeah, based on my experience and now reading about yours, it seems obvious that their intention is to only offer the all-you-can-eat salads at the stated price if you’re also getting it along side a separate meat entree. The main entree is where they make the money, so if you just want the salads they clearly aren’t too happy with it.
Will: There’s only one salad assortment they offer, most of the salads are vegetarian, but clearly chopped liver is not.
Regarding the dairy issue, while it’s true that technically dairy refers to foods made from milk, I would argue that most people do consider eggs as dairy, and would know that if someone says “I don’t eat dairy” that this would also include eggs. The Wikipedia entree on “dairy products” backs me up on this:
“Eggs are sometimes categorized as dairy, defining dairy as “food that is produced by animals (other than meat)” rather than as milk specifically. For example, the Open Directory Project at one point listed cooking eggs as a subcategory of cooking dairy products. Defining dairy as limited to milk products, however, is more common.”
Ok, more common… but most people I know understand that something non-dairy should also not include eggs. That said, when I originally had to explain to the waitress what vegan means, I did say that I don’t eat animals, milk, butter, eggs or anything that comes from an animal. Apparently my original post was not clear on this but I have edited it for clarity. The girl knew I didn’t want meat or eggs, yet she still told me that the salads would be ok for me to eat.
As a side note, while I stated in my original post that I understand that not everyone knows what a vegan is, I also feel that anyone working in the food service industry should have a basic understanding of the common terms involved with feeding various types of people, inlcuding: vegetarian, vegan, kosher, etc…, as well as an understanding of common allergen foods, like peanuts. This is the year 2008, I don’t think it’s too much to expect for a waitress working in food-centric city like Los Angeles to know what vegan means, or at best, to know that when someone says they are vegetarian and don’t eat meat, that this would therefore imply they don’t want to eat chopped liver.
Mayonnaise, unless someone has gone out of their way to specifically buy a vegan variety is usually always made with eggs.
You also said: “It seems pretty standard to me to assume that if there’s an all you can eat option, that a restaurant isn’t going to let one person at the table order it and not the other. Whether her comments were polite or not, the policy makes sense to me.”
Really, this makes sense to you? It’s seems utterly ridiculous to me. I’ve never encountered a policy like this anywhere else, ever. If you and I go to Sizzler and you want to order a steak and I want to have the all-you-can-eat salad bar… are you telling me that you would have no problem also being forced to pay for a salad bar meal even though you’re not eating from the salad bar and have already paid full price for your steak? This situation at Hummus Bar & Grill is no different. We were ordering two separate meals for two separate people… my mother wasn’t interested in eating any of my food and I wasn’t planning on sharing any of it with her. One person shouldn’t have to be punished and forced to pay more based on what the other person is eating. Again, consider the fact that if I had gone in alone and ordered the same thing, I would have been charged $10, but because I was sitting at a table with someone else, the price now automatically becomes $20. That’s just wrong and not a policy that I can agree with.
It would have been more suitable and a lot less rude to simply have a sign at each table that says something like “no sharing on all-you-can-eat orders”. Or, just don’t offer all-you-can-eat if cheating is such a widespread problem.
Hi FoodEater,
Lane and I were talking about this post and I felt compelled to share a story about his parents. (They’re very old and still have the depression mentality – just to give you an idea where they’re coming from.) We had breakfast with them the morning of our wedding at a hotel that had an all you can eat breakfast buffet. This was not one of those $30 elaborate deals. I think it was around $11, and my brother was paying. So when the waitress took their order, my FIL ordered a bagel and my MIL ordered the buffet. They intended to “share” the buffet. ie steal one meal for the cost of a bagel. Lane, behinds their backs, told the waitress what they were up to and she charged my FIL for the buffet minus the bagel.
In your case, I would have gotten up and sat at the table next to my mom. Or I would have left, and NOT paid for the pickles.
Jane of VeganBits.com
Completely ridiculous. Offensive treatment. I’m just in awe. As stated above, customer service is really going down the tubes these days. I work in retail and get ridiculous treatment from customers on an almost daily basis but at the end of it all, in the interest of customer service you opt to keep the customer happy (unless they are being just above and beyond ridiculous). The worst part is that you couldn’t eat most of the salads anyway! Despite the silly rule (that should be written on the menu so people know before attempting to order it) you wouldn’t have ordered it if she had actually listened to what you wanted, a vegetarian meal (liver?!?! wtf).
My question is, what would they do if you had a family dinner there. A table of 10 people or so. One guy wants salad but they all have to pay for it. Crazy.
That’s it, I got to learn a second language.
This sounds especially annoying, but I do have to point out that Happy Family has a similar policy about their all-you-can-eat, in that everyone at the table has to get it. They also assume that food is going to be shared and don’t want people eating it who did not pay for it. This doesn’t change the ignorance of your server here, but I think the policy has some merit.
Matt: I see that as a different sort of situation. Happy Family is a Chinese restaurant where most people going there expect to eat “family style” with everyone sharing, even when it’s not all-you-can eat. That’s not what most people expect when going to a Middle Eastern restaurant that has a full menu, with the all-you-can-eat salad option as just one item on the menu. There is no specification on the menu that says “if you order this, your friend has to order & pay for it too, even if they want to order & pay for something else”.
I guess I’ll just have to agree to disagree with those who think this sort of policy is acceptable. I personally cannot accept that two people dining together are not allowed to have the choice as to what they want to eat, and I certainly cannot accept that if only one person wants to order a limitless type of meal, that the other person should be forced to pay double solely on the preemptive suspicion that they are going to cheat and eat from the other persons order too. As mentioned in the comment above by bex, what if there were ten of us dining together and all of them wanted to order a chicken meal and I was the only one wanting the salads? Does that now mean that everyone has to get the salads too on top of what they really wanted, at the cost of an extra $90? Sorry but I just don’t think it’s cool, or right.
I honestly wonder if they try to pull that crap with a large party. I.E. If a party of 8 comes in and one person wants the salad sampler thing, do they force the entire table to order it, hence charging them an extra $70 for the meal? That is beyond ridiculous. I can understand not allowing taking leftovers home (what self-respecting buffet place would do that?), but WTF. I don’t blame you for staying, but I hoped you tipped the server a penny or something so she got the message.
You’re far too nice. I would had walked up and left!
It blows my mind when people at restaurants think I (and my veg gf) are somehow just trying to be “cheap” by ordering salads or other vegan friendly food. Sometimes we just don’t know where to go or are with friends and still want to chill. We’re not cheap or thieves, we just don’t eat meat!
Loved your post–two notes. One, this has happened to me in LA before, the “you have to buy two” thing (also the rude waitress, but not at the same time!). But not as often as the even more frustrating situation where the server doesn’t understand the whole vegetarian/vegan concept. It doesn’t happen as much here, but when I go visit my family in Texas, oh my. Over Christmas I was trying to find something vegetarian at a restaurant and the waitress suggested chicken enchiladas. When I told her I didn’t eat chicken, hence the vegetarian, she insisted that the salmon was delicious. It went on like this for a while. Cesar salad? (anchovies). Pinto beans? (there’s was made w/lard). Soup? (made w/chicken broth.) I am the only person I have ever known who loses weight over holidays. So at least there’s that!