Running this blog can be so much fun. The best part isn’t the great and positive feedback I get from 99% of my visitors… no, the best parts are the random comments and emails I occasionally get from the other 1% who stumble in here somehow (mostly likely in between halftime commercials on the way to the fridge for another Bud-lite) and feel motivated to crap out their intolerant, dimwitted observations.

Take for example the following comment I just received from a rather devoted and passionate fan of Anthony Bourdain, identified only by his chosen moniker of “Carnivore“. Isn’t that clever?

hippie Hey here is a thought… How about all you hippies come up with your own recipes? Bourdain is an incredible chef who disagrees with your ways totally. He has that right. Doesn’t he? If you don’t like him or his ways then don’t buy his books or even bother changing his recipes. The fact that you are investing so much time and effort in it whatsoever proves you must be obsessed with him on some level. Just jealous because you aren’t as cool or as famous as he is… or is it the fact that you lack the ability to cook like he does so you just change around his recipes instead of coming up with your own?
Jeez…Get a life
Losers.

Wow Carnivore sure told me, huh? Way to put us hippies in our place man. You’re right, I am so totally jealous of and obsessed with Anthony Bourdain because I’m not as cool or famous. You’ve totally figured me out… how did you know? The best part Carnivore is that you seem to think you’re on the Hezbollah Tofu website (offline), considering that those are the folks veganizing Bourdain’s recipes and having a fine time ridiculing him, not me.

For what it’s worth Carnivore, as far as time invested is concerned, it’s taken me about 10 minutes to write this response, while it probably took you about 3 or 4 hours to string those few sentences together… so let’s not be pointing any sticky fingers.

Anthony Bourdain and his big bone It’s funny to me how Anthony Bourdain seems to inspire such a following of devoted dudes ready to annihilate any hippie in their path who dares to say anything negative about him. What’s with all the straight-boy man-crushes these guys have for Bourdain? Is it his lanky, stunted-into-skinniness by cigarettes and too many years of consuming diseased duck liver physique that gets them all hot and bothered? Or is it just the thought of his crispy-fried-pork-skin breath kissing away their fears of broccoli and dark leafy greens that really gets them going? Whatever it is, I find their misdirected ire rather amusing. I wish these guys would just accept themselves for who they are, come out of the closet (or in this case, the meat-locker), and perhaps seek out advice from a love columnist instead of an obsessed hippie vegan food blogger who can’t cook.

(Update:) Due to all the infantile comments being left by the Bourdanian hordes who feel threatened by people who eat plants, comments are now closed. You Anthony Bourdainiacs seriously need to get a life.

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16 Responses to “Anthony Bourdain, Vegans and Man-on-Man Love.”
  1. You’re too funny!!!
    “People, they’re the worst.”
    Jerry Seinfeld

  2. quarrygirl says:

    carnivore: consider yourself schooled.

  3. Vegan_Noodle says:

    THis is just too funny. This guy needs to get over himself. Nice response!

  4. scott says:

    no one better call me a hippy!

  5. FoodEater says:

    Thanks for the feedback everyone… good to know you guys find this all as silly as I do.

    Scott: I know, right? If this guy only knew… I’m basically the exact opposite of a hippie and I haven’t had any crunchy granola in years.

  6. Synthia says:

    Clearly mister Carnivore is UNEDUCATED! I hate when people lable vegans as “Hippies” and such… just because we have educated ourselves on healthy eating and a natural lifestyle! nice response though!!!!!!!!!!

  7. FoodEater says:

    Synthia: I know right? Apparently wanting to be healthy and not wanting to eat disgusting dead things now is equivalent to automatic hippy status. If that’s the case than I guess I’d rather be a hippy than whatever the alternative is.

  8. Not a vegan says:

    I am sorry, but your facile rant in response to Carnivore’s post seems to confirm some of what he says. His language wasn’t exaclty eloquent, and I am sure you are not jealous of Bourdain’s coolness, whom I believe you find distinctly uncool. BUT: Goodness me, vegans, get over yourselves. What a bunch of self-righteous individuals you seem to be. You insult meat eaters a thousand times more than Bourdain ever insulted vegetarians / vegans, proclaiming your disgust of people who eat meat whenever you get a chance. At the same time, a flippant remark by a chef sends you into a rage, because of course you got Truth on your side, so disagreeing with your choice of diet is just not acceptable, even though disagreeing with the diet of meat eaters is fine in your eyes, even necessary. Pathetic.

    I only recently came across part of the quote, and googled “Bourdain” and “Hezbollah” today to see the full quote. What I found was thousands of websites and posts by a bunch of self-obsessed fanatics who seem to passionately hate everyone who does not agree with their vision of how people should live their lives. Spiritually, that sounds a lot like the Hezbollah to me. Even though Bourdain clearly just made his ludicrous over-the-top comment to get some headlines and basically to just make the point that he is not a fan of vegetarians and vegans, the posts on many vegetarian / vegan websites show that in terms of the tolerance of people who are not like you, many vegans have a spiritual connection to groups like the Hezbollah.

    Do you know how ridiculous you look with your pathetic obsession? If someone famous, like a Hollywood star (i.e., someone whose quotes will have lots of public exposure) says in an interview that meat is murder and all meat eaters should rot in hell, do you think that any meat eater will care and start websites about it?? They’ll just think it’s some vegetarian idiot who should relax a bit. Why can’t you just think of Bourdain as a carnivorous idiot who should just chill? Why do you care SO MUCH what others think of your life style / diet??

  9. FoodEater says:

    Not a vegan: Again I’m the one who’s obsessed? You guys are too funny!

    I’ve never claimed to be spiritual, nor do I really give a rats ass what Anthony Bourdain eats, or what you eat… and I surely don’t care one bit what you or anyone else thinks of what I eat either. The fact of the matter is that random assholes are coming to my website leaving insulting and rude comments, so I’m going to respond to that however I see fit… I’m quickly learning that in most cases it’s best to just delete them, at least until they can learn to spell and form complete sentences. Most people who come here without a predisposed bone to pick with vegans, realize that my response in this case was meant as nothing more than funny.

    For what it’s worth this entire obsession that I’m being accused of consists of one single post announcing the Hezbollah Tofu website and their veganization of Bourdain recipes (a project which, by the way, I am not even involved in). I made one single post consiting of a link to another website… how exactly does that equate to an obsession and how does that make me similar to Hezbollah, a violent political faction? There have been two other posts all together in regards to this, and if you bother to read them, you’ll see that those were in response to random assholes showing up at my site… not to have an educated or serious discussion about the pro’s and con’s of veganism or the meat eating lifestyle, but instead, only to leave personal insults and ignorant blanket statements about all vegans… and to call me a loser, a douchebag, etc… as if I was the queen of all vegans and somehow have become their representative.

    You people need to lighten up, realize that what I wrote in response to these morons was a joke, and take your prozeliatizing against vegans elsewhere. This website is primarly about food… not about Anthony Bourdain, not about convincing others to be vegan, not about anything else really other than what I like to eat and cook. Why that is so upsetting and offensive to some of you I’ll never know. Or care.

  10. Not a vegan says:

    If you go back to my first posting you will see that the Hezbollah comparison is with the many vegan websites I have come across, not yours per se. Most of the stuff I have seen was a lot more militant, and I should probably have posted there instead. I do appreciate that the above may have across as personal just to you – apologies for that – but it was a blanket reaction to lots of the (in my view) militant and obsessive bullshit out there. I probably should have said so more clearly.

    It does still amaze me how so many vegans care so much about what some celebrity chef says about them. I can see you responding to the poster, Carnivore, as he initiated the contact on your site, rather than having made a general statement about vegans like Bourdain did.

    But otherwise, I do find the apparent obsession in vegan circles I have seen on the internet strange. I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, In eat fish and I eat meat. It is very important to me how the animals were reared and treated, and I select the meat accordingly, but I would not consider quitting meat. If a famous vegan finds that offensive and says so on a vegan cooking programme, I really don’t care. I therefore do consider the hysteria Bourdain has generated odd, and I am not a Bourdain fan (I don’t really know him, I live in Japan and if he is big here, I certainly haven’t noticed).

    The whole thing has lead me to discover a new bloggosphere though – it’s quite interesting to trawl through the vegan websites. Some are just extolling the health virtues as they see them of the vegan lifestyle, some are quasi-religious, some are really militant.

  11. FoodEater says:

    Not a vegan: Yes, there are militant websites out there, this isn’t one of them. I’ll repeat, my website is a blog about food, period.

    Occasionally I will rant about something that is important to me other than food (after all, this is my blog), but for the most part, I stick to the topic at hand… restaurants, Los Angeles, and where vegans and vegetarians in the area can find tasty food. How that makes me similar to Hezbollah, I have no idea. My obsessions revolve around things like vegan cheesecake, soy-cheese quesadilla’s, BBQ jackfruit and Scoops vegan ice cream. Anthony Bourdain and the likes of his devoted fans really don’t quite measure up on my scale of things to obsess on. The whole reason I even wrote this post in the first place was in reaction to the people coming here to spew hate… Anthony Bourdain fans (no, not all off them, but the sort that seek out vegetarian websites just so they can leave idiotic comments) are no less rabid and juvenile than Howard Stern fans it seems. Why is it so bothersome to people who still eat meat that some of us no longer do? Eat your damn meat already and shut up about it! What really makes you folks think that I’m in anyway interested in what people coming here to comment with names like “Carnivore” or “Pig-Eating Grin” have to say? You guys accuse every vegan of being a militant and pushing our cause on you… yet all I’m trying to do is eat my damn dinner while you’re the one’s dropping in on food blogs and leaving stinkbomb comments. I don’t have a freakin’ cause, get it? Seriously, all I want to do is eat. What makes you think I want to debate any of this with you?

    I’m rather bored with people coming here to leave insulting blanket statements about what they’ve seen on other websites or what they think of vegans in general (the rudest of which have been, and will continue to be deleted). Really, it’s ridiculous to anyone who’s actually read what I write about here or to anyone who’s spent time talking to me about my attitudes and beliefs concerning veganism, to hear that you people consider me, or this blog, in any way whatsoever to be “militant”. I write about tofu, quinoa and broccoli, not about telling anyone else what to eat, and not about bashing in the heads of people who eat meat. If anyone thinks I’m a militant (or homophobic, or Hezbollah-like, or a hippie etc…), then they really have no clue who I am, and have no idea what militant actually means.

    Yes, I’d like everyone in the world to stop subjugating and eating animals. Yes, I’d like people like you to realize that when you say things like: “It is very important to me how the animals were reared and treated, and I select the meat accordingly, but I would not consider quitting meat” that it’s a complete contradiction based on misinformation. It can’t genuinly be that important to you how an animal was raised and treated when the whole reason it was raised at all was so that you could eat it. And yet, I don’t consider it my place to force my beliefs down your or anyone else’s throat. Frankly, I am not even interested in educating you, you’ll either get it or you won’t… Do What Thou Wilt. I am not an activist and I don’t do what I do or eat what I eat to impress anyone or to change any opinions. I do it for myself and for the animals and for the earth and for what I know is right, and that’s really all there is to it. Just like you know that I’m probably not going to change your mind, coming to my blog and telling me that I’m no different from Hezbollah because I don’t want to consume animal products isn’t going to do much to change mine either.

    As for this supposed obsession with Anthony Bourdain that you seem to think all vegans have, I think you’re really exaggerating. I haven’t run into anyone that is in any way obsessed, and for the most part the Hezbollah Tofu website appears to be existing all on the basis of good fun and good food. I imagine that if Anthony Bourdain has seen it, he probably thinks it’s hilarious. If you actually take the time to read what’s going on at that site with an open mind, you might come to realize that what you’re perceiving as hysteria is really just something quite funny (and for a good cause with all proceeds going to charity). How is that hurting anyone? If anything, it’s getting Anthony Bourdain a lot of free advertising.

    I appreciate that you responded in a less offensive tone than your first comment, and that’s why I’ve opted to engage you for now. Really though, I have no interest in arguing any further with you or anyone else, or of getting into anymore drawn out discussion about veganism (especially not with people who just want to tell me that I’m wrong); that’s not what my site is about if I haven’t made that more than obvious to you by now. That is not what I’m about to dedicate my time to, and I certainly have never put myself out there as any sort of expert on veganism. Dude, I just like to eat really good food… how about y’all get off my back and take the complaints to someone else who’s more than eager to get into it with you? You’re cutting into my feeding time, and as you already mentioned, there are plenty of those other sites out there. In case I still haven’t made it perfectly clear, this is not one of them.

  12. I’m fascinated by the vehemence with which these anti-vegan folks come at their prey. Whether it’s the laugh-riot classic (‘wtf dude whats wrong with you if god didnt want us to eat meat whyd he make animals out of it? vegins suck”) or a well-couched essay, like those above (which would imply more education than the content displays), they all make me wonder why there’s some big collective axe to grind against a bunch of thoughtful herbivores. And this one really came at you, my friend. Must be something in the water over there in Japan.

  13. FoodEater says:

    Annette O’Neil: Yes, it’s very strange that these folks get so angry that other people simply don’t want to eat animals. Can you imagine if I spent my time seeking out food blogs that feature meat dishes and went around leaving angry vegan comments on all of them? I guess there are some people who do that, but I’m certainly not one of them.

    Another thing I find funny too, I’m sure you’ve probably noticed this, is when non-vegan or vegetarian websites (or magazines, newspapers, etc…) feature something that just so happens to be vegan or veggie. Usually the first 10 comments will always be from meatlovers in an uproar about how they could never live without bacon, how they could never give up meat because otherwise they would never get enough protein… followed by the obligatory statements about how much they hate the taste of tofu and how vegans are all tree-hugging, granola hippies. The hypocrisy is unbelievable and more than a little bit ironic, especially when the vegans among us are ones being accused of all the crap, when it’s usually the other side doing all the baiting and hating.

  14. zeegan says:

    Dear FoodEater…It is very important to me how the animals were reared and treated, and I select the meat accordingly, … hahahahahaha… this reminds me of my Oh-So-Superior-Catholic sister telling me she’s Pro-Life while she’s eating hamburger(read cadaver sandwich) People like ‘not a vegan’ just don’t get it, and are true examples of ignorance,i.e. they don’t get the fact that they don’t get it…get it? Since when does it say “This cow was pet gently on the head while it ate organic grass in a field of clover on a beautiful Spring day just after a rainshower…etc.” If ‘not a vegan’ had to pick up a sledgehammer and beat a calf to death and disembowel it and skin it before “selecting the meat accordingly” they just might become vegan… but they don’t. Meat eaters, to me, are mindless consumers… I should know, I was one of them… then I woke up to what I was doing and decided to stop… the same way I dropped drugs and alcohol, which I also used to try to defend my right to consume… there is hope for the ‘not a vegan’s and SuperiorSisters out there, if they’d only put down their precious opinion and open their eyes to the suffering and cruelty that they’re mindlessly engaging in… Also, my diet doesn’t directly financially support industry that is destroying the ecology of this planet, so I it’s my duty to future generations to stick my lifestyle in the faces of the ignorant, it just might rouse them from their slumber(read delusion)… Anyway, it’s a day at a time for all of us… “Illegitimus non tatum carborundum” (read ‘don’t let the bastards wear you down’) With love from Adoring Fan #1

  15. Kenya says:

    People use any reason to attack vegans. I truly believe that they are simply yet overwhelmingly insecure with the fact that they use dead animals as food, when they know deep down that it is a completely archaic, unnecessary and vile practice/tradition/diet. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being considered militant, as long as we aren’t giving the movement a negative reputation with acts of violence, etc. I am 100 % against the use of animals in any way shape or form, NO EXCUSES. I think complete abolition is the only way to go and I am not ashamed of it in the least. If people want to debate me or call me militant, they can, but it’s all about being in line with my personal ethics and being consistent and if that is viewed as militant so-be-it.

    Check out this on-line vegan “debate” (about the rickets story) we had this past week. So funny how all of a sudden we care what’s going on in Scotland, so much in fact, that this story is getting news coverage in the US.

    Any chance to bash vegans….

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